1-25-2013

      Hey there, blog fans! It's yer old pal Aloof Cat again! Wait, is that my name in the blog or am I just saying that's what I am, not who I am? As in, there goes Jason; he's such an aloof cat, don'tcha know? Or is that just the name of the blog itself? I mean, it is capitalized.

      So after yesterday's blog entry, I checked out some of the editors' “help for newbies” posts on the Cracked.com forums. The process of submission/review/selection is easy enough to follow. I just think that the greatest hurdle is coming up with an idea to pitch. It's so hard! For those of you who don't know, a typical Cracked.com article is an article based in fact, but with a twist or different spin to it, but always remaining factual. Something like “5 Terrifying Serial Killers Who Happened to Be Animals” (http://www.cracked.com/article_19737_5-terrifying-serial-killers-who-happened-to-be-animals.html ). They're basically non-fiction articles, turned a bit on their heads, in a list form, with jokes! I'd love to see an article of mine published, even if only once. It would be nice to be able to show it off to ladies in bars and such. I guess I'd have to start going to bars though.

      Before I forget, if you are reading this and you have an idea you'd like to let me have, I'd love it if you'd let me know. Thanks!

      Sooooo, um, let's see. I guess we can talk about work, since that's what I did today, and all I've done since the last installment. First, a bunch of us from different departments put out the frozen freight. Then, my “friend at work” and I helped put out the dairy and meat freight. Exciting stuff! I only call him “friend at work”, because I don't want to use his or anyone's name unless they want me to. Then, I went on break. I caught the last ten minutes of The Price is Right. This one lady overbid and all of us in the break room knew it! So when you overbid, you automatically lose. The lady who underbid by over ten thousand dollars won! She was one lucky lady. Anyway, after break, on my way back to the grocery dept., the store manager catches me to give me a cart of paper/chemicals to put out. Paper means paper towels and toilet paper. Chemicals means detergents, cleaners, mops/brooms, and air fresheners. The only thing is paper/chemicals (my departments) only made up half the cart. The other half was furniture and hardware departments. I could have taken the cart back after doing only “my” stuff, but I decided to work the whole cart, because it just made it that much longer before I'd have to talk to anyone. I mean, because I'm such a good, hard-working employee.

      And then it was lunchtime! I live only about a mile from work, so I drive home for lunch every work day. I had Tuna and Ramen, also the name of my sim's first “humor” novel. That's what I usually have for lunch. It's cheap and I never seem to get tired of it, you know, like yo mama. You know you were thinking it. Anywho, I have just enough time to make lunch and eat it while catching up on Facebook before it's time to go back. I try to take my lunch as late in the day as possible, and you have to take it before six hours in. I go in at 8 AM, so I have to take mine by 2 PM. But it's an hour long, so I'm back at 3 PM, and then it's only two hours 'til it's over.

      Back at work and the rest of my day is zoning my paper and chemicals aisles and putting up returns. If you care, zoning just means pulling all the shelf product to the front and making the aisles look nice. Returns are things that go back on the shelves that aren't truck freight, like abandoned carts of stuff, stuff put in the wrong place by lazy customers, stuff people bring to customer service. You don't care.

      Finally, I do a little shopping, run into one of our vendors in line at the cashier, wonder a tiny, little bit if she likes me...naaaaah, pay for my groceries, get my coupon ignored, and drive home.

      At home, I make myself nachos for dinner. I didn't want nachos, but I can't let all this nacho cheese go to waste. I bought a lot. But now it's all gone, so NO MORE NACHOS! I took my nachos to my room, put on some Parks and Recreation and sat down to write this. So, there you have it. A work-day-in-the-life. I actually wrote a page on what I did at work today. Hmm...I'm starting to think maybe half-a-page a day is enough.